can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
