beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Congratulations! We have a period
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
