All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
