Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
