you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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