hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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