I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
