I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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