I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
