her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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