I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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