so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
