capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
