Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
