I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't deserve a penis
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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