So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
