You're so nebulous sometimes
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Mom said you looked used
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
