I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You did what with his pubic hair?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
