hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
