Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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