My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
