We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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