dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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