booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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