So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he had hair everywhere except his balls
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
