but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I love having hate sex.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
And then he peed in my hair
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