i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
