we're blogging at a bar
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
