Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
