U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
