Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
