At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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