My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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