ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
