Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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