Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
