I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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