But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm too high and old for this...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
