found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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