I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
