the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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