Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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