no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
