Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
