Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Randomize
