If i come over, it means nothing
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
