I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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