He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
