marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
