when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
