just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
