"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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