i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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