His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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