You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
