he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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